Saturday, July 18, 2009

Back in the same house.

Time really flies by, doesn't it? Two freakin' months have gone by since I posted last...seems like it was just last week. My house is a lot different than it was then. I let him move back in. Maybe I am being stupid, but it doesn't really feel like it. It has been almost a month, and things are going scary good. I don't understand why it wasn't like this before. I am still watching him like a hawk, but there is a weird peace in the house that still feels foreign to me.

Are there couples who disagree without fighting? Is it possible for two people to be married and not scream or swear at each other? We have not had a single fight since I've been having a dialog with him, but I honestly didn't expect it to stay that way when he moved in. We have had arguments, and disagreements, but not fights. When the discussion starts getting heated he says he needs to go for a walk and will be back in half an hour. He leaves and comes back in 30 minutes and we finish the discussion. We have had some big disagreements too, but they never escalated into raised voices or saying mean things.

I am still getting used to there being someone else living with me again. It has been nice to have help though. I enjoying doing yard work, but there are times when I am just too tired to mow. He has been helping out more than he ever did. There are still some annoying things like not picking up his own laundry and putting it in the hamper, but that seems like a small gripe when he is helping with dishes and yard work. Finding time to work on our relationship has been the hardest thing we have been struggling with. Right now we are trying to work shifts so one of us is able to stay home with the kids. Right now we honestly can't afford day care, and my oldest daughter requires more attention then a day care could provide her with. My husband is currently pursuing a new career in a trade in his spare time, so that hopefully we will have more income. I do not want to not have a job, but if we had day care I would be paying in order to work instead of earning money. I haven't found the right balance yet, but this is getting quite tiring. We will need to do something else soon or I will run out of steam.

I would say things are going well for me, at least there is positive progress being made. Sure, my life isn't perfect, but whose is? I am happy, my children are happy, it could be a lot worse. At lest we are no longer living in fear and abuse, and our family feels more complete.

I noticed there is another comment from "Anonymous." Whoever you are, you obviously have a personal gripe against me, though I can't imagine what over. I could delete your comments, but I hardly see the flamboyant ignorance worth my effort. You have not posted a comment that was not laced with ignorance thus far. For example your latest comment. "sell your sex toys like your expensive shit like fyn bag and sasi and all the really nice ones. then you could afford diapers for your kids." This shows that you did not even read the post to which you commented, since I stated my children are both potty trained and no longer require diapers. Another thing is that you obviously don't have a clue how expensive diapers are, nor do you understand that I would not be able to sell sex toys even if I wanted to. No one would BUY a sex toy from someone they were not fluid bonded with, unless they were completely lacking in sexual health knowledge. I would not morally or ethically be able to sell a sex toy to someone else, it just wouldn't be responsible. If I did find some sucker to buy my things and I somehow got over feeling evil for doing so, just how much do you think I would get? I doubt it would even be $25 for everything. That doesn't gas up my car, it doesn't buy diapers for two weeks for one child, it would do little to no good. Obviously you are jealous of my toys, since you started commenting when I purchased the SaSi. You previously commented that it was stupid of me to buy my SaSi, which is odd that you think you have the right to judge me considering you do not even know me. What I post is a small window into my life, you have no idea what I do during my days or how hard I work. You have too much free time on your hands if throwing your ignorance around like confetti is deemed worthwhile. If you don't like me, that's fine with me. It doesn't hurt my feelings when you write something mean to me, after all, why would I even consider your comments as anything besides spiteful garbage? Posting these comments that there is no reason for, under a veil of anonymity no less, is cowardly and a waste of time. Go read a book or do something worthwhile.