Friday, September 12, 2008

Awaiting the torch

How long until I become flamed? Not sure. Do I care? Nope...why should I? I am of course talking about the recent post I made on edenfantasys regarding the reviewer ranking change. Well, it wasn't so much about the change as it was about the conduct of one reviewer. What should have been a place for friendly discussion and useful feedback for the site turned into a vicious argument with one person dominating all posts by others. It has been bothering ever since this person chimed in with responses accusing the system of being unfair and being only a "popularity contest."

The original goal has been lost. The ranking system was to change to better suit the reviewers contributing to the program. It has since changed into being an avenue for one person to get what they want, and be damned if you don't agree. It pisses me off to see so many people making suggestions that are pertinent only to have one person argue their suggestion into oblivion until the others feel there is no point in posting their thoughts and comments. It appals me that eden is trying so hard to conform to what a small handful of people want. Is the majority getting left out in the cold to satisfy the few? The community has already started to die; I can't be the only one who is concerned about this? What will happen when activity on the site no longer holds any meaning? I can see people being upset because others have more time to devote to commenting, but isn't that essentially the same as holding a grudge against the neighbor because they can afford a newer car? Wasn't a cap on number of reviews put into place because one person had more time and money available than others did? Wasn't that cap put into place because the others were upset that this one person had an "unfair" advantage? I don't see what's so unfair about someone having more "stuff" than someone else does. I am grateful for all the time and effort that went into those reviews. I have avoided some bad toys because that person has more time and money than I do. Why all the bitterness? I just don't get how someone could feel so much resentment over something that happens in everyday life.

I have went into the forums and read the posts many times. I always go in hoping that the argumentativeness has died down, only to find that it is still there. I see people not bothering to post anymore. I end up typing up a post about how every one's feedback is important, then I remember that anything I post will be discredited by that person. I just cancel out and close the browser. I am left disgusted and disappointed.

Today I finally clicked on the "Post" button. It was an insanely long post, but I had a lot to say. It came out a lot harsher than I wanted it to, but it needed to be said. I see people who felt strongly about the issue backing down and not bothering to state their opinions anymore, and it pisses me off. There is a strong sense of community, and I hate seeing that ripped apart. Why should many be alienated for one? If no one else will stand up and tell this person to chill out, then I must. I don't see much motivating for all the bickering other than a power struggle. I feel that most of the people in the reviewer community are friends. Not close friends of course, but I still feel that my respect and trust is well placed in them. I hold respect for the person whom is taking charge and trying to make it all about her. I have enjoyed her reviews, and I feel she is a very welcome part of the program. I do not understand the resentment and bitterness that is coming out just feels so misplaced and judgemental. What is wrong with people disagreeing? Just because we hold different views does not mean that one of us is "right" and the other "wrong."

I am not holding my breath for the flaming that is to come. I expect it, given all the haughtiness that has been present during the discussions. There is too much bitterness for anger to not also be present. I am done talking and thinking about this for now. I have other things to occupy my mind with.

Still on the subject of Edenfantasys, I should be getting my next assignment toy today. I had requested a Fleshlight for my hubby. I am pretty excited about it actually. I doubt my husband will ever use it without me, as his sex drive is usually pretty low. I initiate the sex almost 100% of the time. Last night he didn't want to have sex, but we hadn't been together sexually the day before either. I just waited until he was asleep then worked on him a bit. Doesn't take much to make a sleeping man horny :) Anyways, he woke up with a much different attitude than he fell asleep with. I was kind and didn't make him do anything, heck that's what the Hitachi is for!

I got off track there :( The Fleshlight we are getting is the non-descript one in "ice" with the original sleeve. The Fleshlight website is kind of a cool place actually. It really annoys me that the women for the presentation have such a "porn star" attitude. It actually makes me sick to hear and see the super fakey tell tale signs of a porn actor. The is a good number of different sleeves that I didn't know about previously. If my husband likes the original sleeve, then I may buy him one of the "fancier" ones for Christmas. I am not worried about a masturbator replacing me at all. Hubby prefers vaginal intercourse to everything else anyway. I've heard that men prefer anal sex because it is so much tighter and more pleasurable than vaginal sex. Hubby told me that was stupid. He doesn't think anal could ever be better than vaginal sex. He told me my cunt was almost too tight for him...but I think he said that just to make me happy.

I have not been using the Kegelscisor much lately. I thought it would be great to have stronger muscles down there, but hubby asked me to stop after the first week. I don't seem to grip and pull in with my muscles, instead it is more of a pushing. I am not usually aware of it during sex until I push him out and he gets pissed. I've tried explaining to him that I don't do it on purpose, it is just my body's response to the pleasure he is giving me. He doesn't get as upset over it now because I told him that, but it still irritates him to be pushed out. It seems weird to me that he says I am really tight and strong, when my previous lover told me I was sloppy and loose. Maybe it's all the sex that has made me stronger and more toned down there :P Either way, I don't want to get to the point where I break his dick during sex.

The Kegelscisor sits neatly in it's padded box, tempting me to use it. I have the smart balls too, but not much worry about them making me stronger as they don't seem to do much. I actually have found that they are not that great at staying in place. They stay in great until I start to get aroused. My muscles loosen up and get ready for penetration, which is not conducting to holding something inside. Then after the first bit of arousal is over with, my muscles start working and trying to push the damn things out. I'm not sure if many women have that problem, as I am constantly reading how well they stay in place. I just seem to do the pushing as apposed to the pulling with my pc muscles. It has come to mind if it is possible for a woman's pc muscles to become so strong as to actually break a penis. Wouldn't that be a surprise for a rapist?! Not saying that I will develop my muscles then try to get raped for that purpose. It was just a random thought. I shared the thought with my hubby, and I maybe shouldn't have. Lol he got that very worried look in his face like it was my goal to try and break his dick.

Speaking of muscle strength, I've been doing good with the workouts. I took a couple days off from it because I had been so sick, but it didn't seem to slow down my progress much. I feel much stronger than I did when we first started the program. I am finally under 200 lbs now too. I weighed in at 199.5 lbs this morning. It doesn't seem like a whole lot to lose, but it feels like a lot off of my body. I am going to have to do something with my wedding ring, as it is nearly impossible to keep it on my ring finger. I started wearing it on my index finger and hubby freaked out. He suggested I get a chain and wear it around my neck instead, but I don't generally wear necklaces. I may do that though, as I don't want to not wear it at all. I was down to 199.5 lbs at one point before, but ballooned back up to 210 after a couple months of junk food and no exercise. Really bites that it took so much hard work to get those stupid 10 pounds off again.

I am lazy today, so sorry no links. I doubt I come back and add them in later either. Today has been a more restful day. Yesterday I steam cleaned the carpets, washed all 8 loads of laundry, worked on patching walls in the stairwell, painted cabinets, cleaned up the cat's area in the basement, rearranged the girls' bedrooms, and other menial tasks like straighting up and doing dishes besides taking care of the girls. It was a long hard day, so today is my day is sit on my ass and knit while sipping on coffee spiked with coconut rum...yummy :)


Anonymous said...

i will remain anonymous. thank god you made that post. seriously. thank freaking god.

BustyBulma said...

Thanks for the comment, and anonymity is probably smart :)

Beautiful Dreamer said...

Bulma. You must let me know how the fleshlight works out for your husband. I really wanted to get one for my boyfriend. But they're kinda pricey. Thanks!! :)